A scientific explanation for why two or more versions of me no longer exist out there in the multiverse

The shittiest night of my life must have taken out at least three versions of me, but probably more. After all, if we break it down to the quantum level and talk about spin, I’m sure there are so many subatomic particles in my body that each moment results in a larger number of possible variations than I can comprehend.

I guess if I were living in a Welcome to Nightvale type world and needed to kill my double, these near death experiences I had at 23 would have taken care of a few of those pesky dangerous doubles. However, since this particular pocket of spacetime I happen to inhabit does seem to be composed of different dangers than the ones found in my favorite podcast, I’ve made a pact with my friend Lionel (who happened to have a near death experience between the two I had just over a year ago) that neither of us will have any more near death experiences for a couple of decades. Maybe one more in 20 years or so because you’ve gotta keep things interesting, but then that’s it.

The world increasingly reminds me of Nightvale though, so if we reach that kind of craziness, all bets are off.

I began this year by falling off of a roof and breaking my back, and I’m glad I did. My new years resolution had been to find something to be grateful for each day, and looking at the world from my downstairs neighbors’ dog poop covered concrete patio, I knew exactly what I was grateful for: life, and the ability to move my fingers and toes. I knew that with that basis, I could make everything else happen. I changed my resolution ever-so-slightly that day: I resolved to approach the rest of 2017 from the perspective that I approached falling off of a roof. The universe has tested me by throwing all sorts of crazy new scenarios at me this year, but somehow as we approach the end of 2017, the beginning of 2018, I find that I’ve been able to keep the core tenants of my roof wisdom intact. 2017 hasn’t been an easy year, nor has it been a comfortable one, but I’ve learned so much. I wouldn’t change any of it.