Boldly Went has published another of my pieces! It’s a work in progress about how I’ve encountered privilege on the trail.

It’s about feeling unsafe, scared, and invalid. It’s about the fact that the context of the conversation was me using my desire to eliminate (or at the very least diminish) my breasts to explain my gender identity. I wouldn’t want to get rid of them so bad if gross douchebros didn’t sexualize that part of my body. It’s about the fact that I felt too scared in the moment to even shut it down the way I wish I had.

You know what, plenty of people have seen my breasts too. I’ve taken part in the Naked Bike Ride several times now (even in 2016 when I had the ear induced balanced issues that meant I really shouldn’t have been riding a bike at all tbh). Know what I like most about the Naked Bike Ride? The near absence of creepers. The fact that when you’re surrounded by thousands of human bodies, it ceases to be a sexual thing.

The nudist atmosphere of the naked bike ride helped me overcome an eating disorder, and even in some ways helped me recover from past traumas. Douchebro’s request reminded me why I do still keep my guard up. That all being said, I’m now more determined than ever to take part in the naked hike day in June. Because fuck you douchebro, I refuse to allow you the power to change my plans. I felt scared and unsafe in that moment yesterday, and I’ve now taken steps to make sure I feel safe and supported by the good community I’ve found along the trail.

I now know that I can count on my dumpster tarp in wind, rain, and even snow. In fact, not to brag, but I have been among the driest hikers camped out here in Idyllwild waiting out the weather. Also since I sleep under a tarp not a tent, I can dry my laundry and cook inside of my shelter. In fact, I could cook a nice hot breakfast for myself without ever leaving my sleeping bag if I felt like it.

Cold, Wet, not-quite-sticking-just-on-the-verge-of-rain Snow.

The good news is I have a nice warm sleeping bag. The good news is my dumpster tarp is nice and waterproof.

The bad news is I have more frozen socks. The bad news is I lost my hat and the thrift store was closed. The good news is I found one glove in a hiker box and can put a sock on the other hand. The good news is I figured out how to make my sham wow into a nice warm hat.

If the weather gets better I leave to summit San Jacinto early tomorrow morning.

www.patreon.com/posts/18535454

Pro tip to any male readers: my breasts have nothing to do with you, and no you don’t get to see them if you’re gonna be a wanker about it. The saddest part is I feel lucky it took 179.4 miles before I did experience sexual harassment like this. I hate being seen as a woman. Literally want to start taking testosterone so I can grow a trail beard on my next hike, then these doofuses will leave me alone, plus I’ll have a kickass trail beard.