Sure you may know a dictionary definition. You may know that sex without consent is rape. But it’s so much more damaging than I’ve ever been able to fully describe.

Nothing else has ever robbed me of agency so completely. Nothing else has ever left me so emotionally effected even years later.

Sex and Power

Sex is supposed to be about intimacy, even love. Rape rips this thing that’s supposed to be beautiful from your hands and shits all over it.

Rape is the violent theft of bodily agency. Rape is a mindless act. Rape turns your own body into a weapon of subjugation.

There is a reason why rape is used as a tactic of terror during times of war. There is a reason why there are higher rates of PTSD in rape survivors than in soldiers who have served in combat.

You’ll Never Know

And I hope you never will.

Abandon the Betrayer

When the weapon weilded agaisnt you is your very own body, the only way to hide is to abandon the body that betrayed you. Suicide becomes a very appealing option. Mental escapism, depression, are almost innevitable.

The breasts I’d already disliked, I now hated. The “cuteness” of face and hair and form I’d had mixed feelings about, I now did everything to distance myself from. Why would one ever want to be attractive? Being attractive attracts this kind of attention.

“Too Ugly to Rape”

Maybe I wanted to be ugly then. Why the fuck are these breasts growing even larger???? Can I please cut them the fuck off of my body already.